Don’t worry, I won’t be buying any Dashboard Confessional cd’s anytime soon.
Oh my god. Ewww, ewww, ewww.
I don’t like spiders. At least, not this kind.
That’s right outside my back door, in the middle of a huge web that goes from the roof of my building to the hedge in the backyard. I hope crazy Militia Guy neighbor sees it and takes care of it, because I am not touching it. I am pretty sure when a spider is firey RED, that’s probably not a good thing.
I’m such a wuss.
The other night, I had this wonderful dream that I was in bed with a man and he was reading me Pablo Neruda poetry, and then I find this in my myspace email:
Wow. I’m so lucky that these guys find me. Not only did he write that super suave poem, but I now know that of ALL the Andrias, I am in fact the cutest (like I didn’t know that already, but still). And, he’s writing to me exclusively! I am the only woman on the entire internet to be wooed with those words. Not only is his picture sideways, but his name is Lisa. Hmmm. I almost want to reply just to find out what the hell is up with the name. Maybe in Bangladesh it means “ultra-smooth ladies man.”
Late Friday night, I was flipping around the channels, and on Skinemax (bowchickabowwow) was this movie called “Going Greek.”
Well, I don’t have to tell what I thought it was about. But it’s about rushing fraternities or some shit like that. What a let down.
Talk about false advertising.
The MTV Video Awards were on tonight. I didn’t watch it for two reasons. One, how can they give away awards for videos, when they don’t even show videos anymore? And two, it was hosted by Sean “Puffy-Puff Daddy-P. Diddy-Diddy-Ramalammadingdong” Combs, and I can not stand that guy.
I did flip on it and caught Shakira’s performance (of a song I love, and have no clue what the words are). I’m not gay, but I’d do her. That girl is HOT.
Before I ever even thought of starting this diary/blog/journal/crapfest, I was Clix-ing a friend’s journal and saw a banner that caught me.
I clicked it, read a few entries, and was hooked. It was written by a funny, smart, sensitive, and silly guy in Colorado named Judd. I was taken by his writing because he wasn’t afraid to write about what he was feeling, and not a lot of men would put themselves out there like that.
So, for a couple of years, I read about his relationships, his friends, his torment of his co-workers with Nerf toys, his family, and laughed at all of his alcohol-induced shenanigans. Some of his other entries really affected me, and at times I found myself crying in front of my computer, I was so overcome by his words.
In his most recent entry, he said that now that he was finally at home with his new bride, he was reluctant to keep writing about how happy he was, and his happy ending, because he didn’t want to upset readers who didn’t necessarily get their own happy ending.
I say fuck that. If it was me, and I was madly in love, and I went through all the same things those two crazy kids went through to be together, hell yes I would be writing about it.
For me, someone who, at times, feels lonely and disappointed in the state of my love life (but not now that I’ve got Lisa!), stories like theirs give me a little hope.
If people didn’t share their happy endings, how would we know they’re out there?
Awwww. Look at Andria get all sentimental.
I’m still bitterly sarcastic, though.
So don’t worry, I’m not going all emo on you.
14 Comments »
Comment by hissandtell
August 29, 2005 @
I just clicked on your “Nobody puts baby in the corner” banner - *I* have one of those, too! We have great taste, darling! (Oh, and in Australia the female redback spider gives a very nasty nip - apparently there are 200 cases a year requiring antivenom to treat the ensuing sweating, muscular weakness, paralysis, stiffness, loss of coordination, tremors, nausea, swollen tongues, infections, convulsions, thirst, diarrhoea, shock and rashes the victims suffer. So you be careful, alrighty? Love, R xxx
Comment by Lisa
August 29, 2005 @
How dare you mock my hotness, my poem and my name all in one swoop. Jihad is officially declared on all bloggers associated with acknowledgement of their dorkiness.
Comment by andria
August 29, 2005 @
Ok, Warcry. I’ll take that big ol’ hunky husband of yours, and you can have Lisa! That sounds like a fair trade. Plus you get to live in beautiful exotic Bangladesh. It doesn’t get much better than that.
Lisa, I was just kidding, baby. Come on, you’re full of love that’s always flowing, remember? There’s no need for jihad, let’s make up. 
Comment by gumphood
August 29, 2005 @
I agree that you should write about how you feel, but sometimes I don’t talk about things like that as well because I am worried about how it would look.
Comment by Pheebs
August 29, 2005 @
LOL!!! I laughed soo hard at the part about “lisa” that I am still snickering as I write this. I get the exact same garbage in my inbox on Friendster; I seriously think sometimes they’re doing it to be funny…they can’t be serious…
Comment by GoingLoopy
August 29, 2005 @
I think they can be serious. They probably read some purloined, black-market, how-to-score-an-American-babe book…or the only cable channel in Bangladesh is Lifetime.
Speaking of Lifetime, I agree. Happy endings in real life are good. It’s nice to know that they aren’t just made for TV.
Comment by DanjerusKurves
August 29, 2005 @
I can barely even tell there is a spider in that photo! Now go back outside and get a super-close-up shot! Don’t worry, the Australian red spider (which is in Australia, not California) only kills her mate, much like our Black Widow … or preying mantis. Gosh, I don’t know why I’m such an expert on murderous females.
Lisa is hot. Judd is a fag. It’s not an ending until it’s OVER.
Holy clap …. now that I come to think of it, we both had pussy problems in the same weekend … and then within days we both had a BTD. I *knew* we shouldn’t have done that 3some with Bill…!
Comment by Anonymous
August 29, 2005 @
Roses are red
Violator is a Depeche Mode album
What in the hell
rhymes with album?
Love, Lisa (really)
Comment by Anonymous
August 29, 2005 @
Wow. Everyone is writing about Judd. The boy could start his own cult.
Comment by Blue Meany
August 29, 2005 @
“Mitch is the Man, I’m the idiot, you’re the screw-up, and we’re all losers.”
“What’s the money doing in Atlantic City, Lucas?”
“Recirculating!”
Gawd, I love that movie. Besides, you already know my thoughts on your post — which has NOTHING to do with Yahoo IM, and EVERYTHING to do with you being psychic!
Comment by Rocky
August 29, 2005 @
There once was a man named Lisa.
Andria’s ass, he wanted a piece-a.
He’s stuck in Bangladesh
Before he can get fresh
He needs to score a visa.
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Comment by The Queen
August 28, 2005 @
AHHHH! why did you have to do it?! FUCKING SPIDERS!!!! ARACHNAPHOBIA!