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Dear Ridiculously Over-Paid Hollywood Executives,

Please stop making movies where Eddie Murphy plays every fucking character in the movie. It stopped being entertaining eighteen movies ago. Here’s an idea: how about you make a movie about a formerly funny star who kept knocking up his wife to prove what a virile, manly man he is, but gets caught picking up trannies?

If you’re looking for someone to remind you when to stop doing so much blow and pay attention to what projects you greenlight, call me!

Sincerely,

Andria

Last night, I had to go to Rite Aid (again… this place is my nightmare) to buy some vitamins. I was standing there, and I was suddenly overcome by this smell. I moved forward a couple of steps, and realized that the woman in front of me smelled like ass. That is not an exaggeration – she literally smelled like a dirty ass, and it was disgusting.

In between gagging and holding my breath, I started to wonder how this woman could possibly not know how horrendously badly she smelled. Then I thought about something I recently heard on the radio: “People can’t smell their own body odor.” I’m going to have to call BS on that, because there have been times after I exercise when I can smell that I’m a little over-ripe and in need of some soap and water. This girl HAD to know she stunk.

She was a big girl, and had one of those classy tattoos on the back of her neck that said “Princess”with a little crown floating above it. She also had a shirt on that was about six sizes too small, and didn’t go all the way down to her low-rise pants (hello, muffin top!). She struck me as the kind of girl who goes on Jerry Springer fighting some other skank over a toothless hoodrat with five kids by five other women and no job.

I think if I would have waited one more minute, I might have thrown up.