I can’t stay indifferent, Because I know the outcome.
I suspect you’re all expecting some snarky, unsympathetic reaction to the disaster that Britney Spears has become. And maybe if it was someone else, I might react that way, but it’s so glaringly obvious that she’s more of a messed up, misguided girl who needs her family to step up and grab a hold of her and shake the shit out of her than some spoiled moron who pulls childish stunts to get herself some attention (hello, Paris, Nicole, and Kim Kardashian).
I mean, what do you expect? Her idiot parents put her in singing and dance lessons from the minute she can walk and talk, and started grooming her to be a singer (albeit not a very good one). She was entered in talent shows, beauty pageants, and went on tv shows as a small child, all for the goal of becoming a star. Her entire childhood was spent working. Working to please her parents and become a big star. She didn’t get the luxury of making all of the stupid mistakes we all made as teenagers while we were going to school, and hanging out with our friends and breaking curfew. Because she was working. She was on tour. She was doing horrible movies.
So by the time she became an adult (well, legally), she suddenly had tens of millions of dollars, a house in Malibu, and no fucking common sense whatsoever. Her parents couldn’t collect anymore of her income, so they went back home to the sticks in Louisiana and started focusing on making little Jamie Lynn their next cash cow, leaving Britney all alone. She had no functional life experience to draw on - the only education (if you can call it that) is from whatever tutor was hired to teach her on the back of a tour bus.
It’s obvious after watching her in the last week that she is teetering on the edge, and she needs help. If I learned anything from the (exhausting) Anna Nicole Saga, it’s that sometimes pointing and laughing is funny at the time, but there will come a day when you’ll feel a little sad about whoever or whatever it is you’re laughing at. And that’s how I feel about Britney Spears right now. I feel badly for her. I feel like all the stupid things we do as teenagers, and young mothers, is done privately, and without the benefit of the world’s (harsh) view and opinions.
That doesn’t mean I think what she’s doing is OK. I don’t think bailing on your kids and drinking and doing drugs every night is acceptable (whoever thought K-Fed would be the responsible parent?). But I think people need to lighten up and lay off. She’s breaking down. She needs a good support system around her. She needs her family to stop thinking about Britney The Star and think about Britney The Daughter - the one who’s spiraling out of control because she’s probably overwhelmed and confused and doesn’t know what she’s doing, because there’s no one there to show her the way.
But the biggest tragedy of all this - the worst part of all - is that I may be lactose intolerant.
I don’t want to live in a world where we watch people destroy themselves for sport.
And I can’t eat cheese.
Dammit.
18 Comments »
Comment by Meany
February 22, 2007 @
No cheese is a fucking worse tragedy than Britney Spears, yo. Just ask Wallace and Grommit.
Comment by Smed
February 22, 2007 @
Oh. Man. You mean you can’t BEHOLD the power of cheese! Tragedy! Are you gonna shave your head?
Comment by andria
February 22, 2007 @
SERIOUSLY. You people have no idea. A little piece of me died inside. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the piece that loves cheese.
Comment by Miss Hiss
February 22, 2007 @
Clearly we are at different phases of our evolutionary cycles, darling; I am way past that stage of feeling sad about people at whom I point and laugh. Years of working with, and in close proximity to, masses of abusive drugfucked alcoholic hedonistic attention-seeking money-rich but brain-poor losers have removed any capacity I may have had for feeling pity for grownups and the life choices they make. (I do, however, feel great sympathy for the child victims who have no voice and no say in their parents’ harmful, destructive and embarrassing behaviour.) There are indeed support systems out there for pretty much everyone, including Britney, but you can only lead a horse to water: you can’t make it drink. (Or, in Britney’s case, you can lead a whore to culture, but you can’t make her think, as Miss Parker said.) And anyway, I bet the bald bitch can eat cheese — or could if she wanted to. Love, R xxx
Comment by cardiogirl
February 22, 2007 @
It is crazy to think K-Fed is the “responsible” parent in this pair. I do wonder if he will seek custody of the kids now that Britney is flipping out.
So sorry to hear about the tragedy that is lactose intolerance. No cheese, no ice cream, no joy.
Comment by awittykitty
February 22, 2007 @
I took this medication a long time ago with which I couldn’t eat cheese. I tried it for a while, ordering pizzas without cheese, but WTF? Pizzas without cheese? Sorry for the diagnosis. Maybe someone will come up with a cure. And Federline isn’t taking care of the kids, her mother is, I hear. Probably lining up some tap and singing lessons.
Comment by golfwidow
February 22, 2007 @
I’m sorrier for you and the cheese sitch than I am for Britney and the cluelessness sitch. Maybe her family did her a disservice and blah blah sheltercakes, but she lives on this planet with the rest of us and I can’t imagine anyone stopped her from picking up a newspaper or turning on the TV once in a while and realizing that sometimes, people with babies in the house have to buy a package of diapers.
(The previous, by the way, refers not to her own children, who were not even conceived yet, but to her complaints whilst watching K-Fed’s kids in her house when they first hooked up. And THEN she had her own. Did she think hers wouldn’t poo?)
Comment by GoingLoopy
February 22, 2007 @
Seems like one of my friends is lactose intolerant, and she can take some kind of supplement to make her able to eat cheese. I’ll ask her. Because seriously. Brit can slap on a wig, get some therapy, and get her shit together, but if you cannot eat cheese, life is not good.
Comment by Kristen
February 22, 2007 @
Don’t be lactose intolerant. Cut that out. Stop it. Now.
I thought Alton Brown said that cheese and yogurt are good for lactose-intolerant people because they something something bacteria blah.
I guess my scientific explanation retention needs some work.
Comment by Cardigan
February 22, 2007 @
This might sound weird, but is it possible you are just sensitive to like, cow milk?
Could you at least do some goat cheese or milk??
Or is it like, all or nothing. Dood. That sucks big balls with hair.
Comment by DanjerusKurves
February 22, 2007 @
Um, I am TOTALLY lactose intolerant … but I can eat all the cheese I want!!! Switch to lactose-free milk and get yourself some Lactaid. Life without cheese is worse to contemplate than life without sex. Guess which one I have chosen?
Comment by nogooddaddy
February 22, 2007 @
Eat the cheese. I’m also lactose intolerant. I eat cheese and then spend the rest of the night farting up a storm and crapping myself.
Come on…it’s cheese
Comment by Laurie
February 23, 2007 @
“I feel like all the stupid things we do as teenagers, and young mothers, is done privately, and without the benefit of the world’s (harsh) view and opinions.”-Amen to that because I so would have shaved my head if anyone knew half of the shit that I did.
Comment by sparkspark
February 23, 2007 @
I have shaven my head in protest of your lactose intolerance. Damn. I look GOOD! XOXO Violet
Comment by Lando
February 27, 2007 @
brit’s got it together, she was just trying to match the drapes to the carpet.
Comment by Halo Askew
March 2, 2007 @
You know what’s funny? (Certainly not your lactose intolerance — GOOD GOD! I would seriously have to reconsider living if I wasn’t allowed cheese anymore). What’s funny is that I saw a show about Justin Timberlake once and his parents entered him in BEAUTY PAGAENT as a kid. He was, of course, the ONLY BOY entered and it pissed the other parents off, especially when he WON EVERY SINGLE CATEGORY. He was so cheesecake cute. Amazing he didn’t turn out to be gay.
Comment by Lauren
March 5, 2007 @
You have my greatest sympathy in these difficult times. Life without dairy? Good god!
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Comment by warcrygirl
February 22, 2007 @
Nooooo!!!!! Not lactose intolerance! What has this world come to????