Now I REALLY heart Huckabees.

Filed under: Celebrities are retards., Friends, Fun with issues — andria at 4:21 pm on Thursday, March 22, 2007

If this would have been the version released in theaters, I would have paid to see it 800 times.That is AWESOME.


In an attempt to ween myself off the Girl Scout Cookies that I used to soothe myself when I was so depressed recently, I’ve been knitting like crazy. 

Not only is it keeping my hands out of the cookie jar, but all those people who say that it’s therapeutic are correct, because I can sit and do it until my hands hurt, and I really feel better when I am finished. It has also helped me with my weird social phobias, because I would have NEVER EVER EVER just willingly thrown myself into a room full of total strangers just to sit and knit with them, but that’s what I did. Now I’ve found this group of people (OK, some are total kooks, but it adds to the kitsch factor, not to mention one is a stripper) that I like to hang out with (mostly). Saturday, I’m going to meet another knitting group (including Wen!), so we’ll see how that one goes. It’s nice to get out and be around different people than the same friends I see every weekend.

Sunday, I am babysitting RAM for Kay at the ungodly hour of eight in the morning so that Kay can go to the church that was started by one of the sheister retards involved in The Scam Secret.

I’m so tired of hearing about this fucking crap that I’m about to lose my mind. It’s just about money and materialism. Very little is about self-improvement beyond anything monetary, and it bums me out that Kay’s turned into someone motivated strictly by money.

But the ridiculously hilarious part of it is that Kay wants money more than anything, but doesn’t actually DO anything to earn it. One of the exercises of The Secret is the blank check. You print a blank check from their website, and fill it in for whatever you want (because, you know, if you think it, it will come!). I found it funny that Kay filled it in for a million dollars, signed “The California Lottery”. She doesn’t want to earn the money, she wants it given to her. She has a list of goals on the refrigerator, and one of them is “win the lottery”. She also has a note giving the fat on her body permission to go, that she’s releasing it to someone else (so that’s the secret to weight loss).

I really have to stop myself from laughing right at her when I see these things (which is why I’m talking about it here, because I can’t exactly talk to her about it, sadly).

I have to go, because I’m writing a note to AmEx and CitiCard, giving them permission to give away my credit card balances.

Be free, credit debt!! Go enrich someone else’s life with your exorbitant interest rates and never-ending balances!!

 

 

 

13 Comments »

Comment by Smed

March 22, 2007 @

That.Was.Awesome!

I’ve always heard David Russell is a bit…tempestuous. Actually, I used to work with his father, who was a total scammer, really. (No kidding.)

Just wow…

Comment by DanjerusKurves

March 22, 2007 @

Writing a permission letter to myself allowing me to write a ridiculous over-the-top book (includes FREE reading glasses!!) that the gullible masses will buy in the millions. Now writing myself a cheque from Any Publisher in the amount of $10,000,000.

Comment by warcrygirl

March 22, 2007 @

HAHAHA! Kay sounds like my mom. Mom wants the good things in life and sound medical care yet she doesn’t think she needs to keep a job. You know, because Franklins and Percocets will just fall from the sky.

Wanna know the “secret”? Grow a fucking backbone and take responsibility for your actions. You’re welcome, make your check out to ‘Warcrygirl’.

Comment by spark and foam

March 22, 2007 @

I am going to write myself a check for three dollars, so I can buy that Bonne Bell lip gloss I’ve been wanting. Also, that weight that Kay “released” better not find its way over to me.

XO
Violet

Comment by Jess

March 22, 2007 @

Damn you, Andria! It worked! All your balances have been transferred to my credit cards, and I am drowning in debt! YOU BITCH! hahahhhha (that mentality is so ridiculous)

I was just talking to Paulo about “I Heart Huckabees” last night, so it was weird to see you mention it. I was saying that the only good aspect of that movie is that fact that Mark Wahlberg cannot contain his raging temper…of course, I find that kind of shit funny. Only me. xoxo - me

Comment by Kristen

March 22, 2007 @

*reads WCG’s comment and immediately hears the song “Incense and Peppermints” except with the words “Franklins and Percocets”*

We did warn you about how knitting consumes your thoughts and takes over your life, right? The bright side is that if you knit AND own a cat, your blood pressure should never go up. Until you drop a stitch, anyway.

There’s nothing wrong with thinking positive, but this program seems to foster a feeling of entitlement in people who lack the motivation to do anything other than sit around and stick notes on their fridge when it comes to realizing their goals and dreams. Wouldn’t it be funny to have RAM stick a note on the fridge giving his mom permission to feed him six meals of Oreos everyday? You know he’d be down with that.

Didn’t know this about myself, but my feelings get really hurt when I hear someone call Lily Tomlin a bitch.

Comment by Andria

March 22, 2007 @

The best part of all of it is hearing Lily Tomlin say, “Fuck you, motherfucker, FUCK YOU!” over and over and over. And poor Dustin Hoffman trying to contain it all. God, I want to be a movie star so I can act like that.

Comment by awittykitty

March 22, 2007 @

Wouldn’t you love to be able to go to work and yell at your co-workers like that with no ill results? Awesome.

Comment by GoingLoopy

March 22, 2007 @

I would love to go to work, yell at my coworkers, and then leave to a shower of Franklins and Percocets.

And I also give my fat permission to exit from my body, and hope that it lands on someone who really needs it, like Mary-Kate Olsen or Nicole Richie. Because I’m all about the philanthropy.

Comment by Wen

March 22, 2007 @

Oh yeah. David O. Russell is fucking legendary for his temper. He’s the guy George Clooney punched on the set of “Three Kings”. I love that someone “accidentally” left the camera on and released it.

Comment by nogooddaddy

March 23, 2007 @

Winning the lottery can be a goal? I’d like that one. I don’t have to play, do I? Just hope I win?

Can I have a goal that the fat from Kay’s ass goes to someone who has too much hair and then that hair finds its way to my head? My goal will then be to trade a spastic colon to someone else.

I need to get to non-work

Comment by Heidi

March 25, 2007 @

Well thanks a lot. I just jumped online to check my email and catch up on a few blogs the next thing I know I’ve clicked a link and spent hours reading your site. Damn you, woman!! Why couldn’t I have found you while I was at work with nothing to do!?

Comment by Lambert

April 5, 2007 @

So THAT’s what The Secret thing is about? I’ve run in to that a few times but have never seen it explained before. It’s amazing what people will do for money.

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