Hey! Did you hear that? It’s my neighbor’s car alarm going off for the 34983976894th time today. AWESOME!!
Because I’m not a very nice person, I’m going to share something with all of you. Her e-mails are often full of typos and poor grammar, but I assumed it’s because she fires them off quickly and doesn’t edit. I think I’m wrong.
Our story of how we met
Sucker and Celestia met in the spring of 2000 through a mutual friend of theirs, which Celestia was renting a room form. Celestia’s roommate Frank and her had met that summer before while on a wakeboarding trip in Parker, AZ (Colorado River). At first Celestia didn’t really notice Sucker at all that much as she was still new to the group of friends she just met that November before and Sucker was also a new comer to the group and it wasn’t until all the girls kept talking about this “Hot” guy what was starting to wakeboard with the guys that Celestia finally noticed him. After they finally met officially, Sucker and Celestia both seemed to connect with each other more than anyone else they had ever met before.From that point on, Sucker started pursuing her more and more. At first she was a little intimidated by him, but as they went on many weekend boating trips with the group they developed a great friendship that seemed to grow into something more. Sucker finally asked Celestia out and they started seeing each other that May and by June they were officially a couple. Sucker and Celestia were inseparable and did everything together.
That makes my brain hurt.
There is SO MUCH I could say about the truthfulness of that story, but I won’t. I’ll just say that she must be assuming that anyone who knew her pre-Sucker wouldn’t be reading it.
Ha.
I don’t know what I’ll write about if she ever quits (which, I fear, is never going to happen anyway).
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At my company, our main customer base is the trucking industry.
A girl that I work with, N, gets a lot of trucking publications because she follows the industry, and because we advertise in some of them. And one magazine in particular, features an actual trucker on the cover. Not a male model/actor pretending to be a trucker. And usually, it looks like a stereotype: the hat, overalls, some sort of America-themed t-shirt, jacked-up teeth, and kind of a “wooooo, doaggies!!” look in his eye. One time, in particular, it featured a trucking couple, and I almost took the magazine home and framed that cover, because that couple looked the two most awesomely backwoods types ever.
As a marketer, N goes to a lot of trade shows. Like, once a month she’s traveling to some trade show somewhere. Last week she went to a show in Montreal. I asked her today how it went, and she said that it was really nice there, and that Montreal was a beautiful city, blah, blah, blah. Then she told me that she was invited to a wine and cheese party that was being held for the exhibitors. I was shocked by this, because I figured truckers aren’t exactly the wine-and-cheese types. They’re more of a PBR and Cheetos crowd. But she told me no, that the exhibitors there were very VERY different from the truckers here.
And then I started to wonder if the white trash culture is exclusive to the this country. I mean, are there French White Trashies? It can’t just be us, right? Somewhere in Italy there has to be a sub-culture of mulleted meth-heads singing the Italian version of “Freebird”.
16 Comments »
Comment by Kristen
April 20, 2007 @
I think the truckers on the 401 are just as annoying (from a regular car-driver’s perspective) as the ones in the US. The REALLY weird ones were in Germany in 1989. They all seemed to have Alf dolls on their dashboards.
Comment by golfwidow
April 20, 2007 @
I know I should be philosophizing about French Canadian culture versus our own lack of culture, but my mind is stuck on the Celestia “new comer” phrase, which immediately made me think, “Within three years from her wedding, HE’LL be faking it.”
Comment by dom
April 20, 2007 @
In England, they call them “chavs”. And there’s plenty of them. In Italy, I don’t know the name, but they were around in the outskirts of the cities.
Comment by nogoodadddy
April 20, 2007 @
Umm…it’s not that bad when I make typos, is it? Because, I’ve always thought mine to be charming and kind of a part of the NGD experience. Please tell me if I’m wrong.
Comment by Andria
April 20, 2007 @
NGD, no. Your typos add to the charm of your posts. Hers just adds to the crazy. Which I previously thought she could not do. Apparently I am wrong about her quite frequently.
Comment by warcrygirl
April 20, 2007 @
NGD, we LOVE your typos. What you see above is simply a case of “I think I’m smarter than I really am” or “I smarter than you are think I’m smart”.
Andria, there’s a show on every now and then covering lottery winners and how it affected them. One of the winners lived in England and if you took away the British accent and replaced it with a Southern accent it would look just the same, except they drive on the wrong side of the road.
Comment by razor-vixen
April 21, 2007 @
AS to awittykitty’s first comment…..not sure what part of town she was in, but there are definitely homeless, winos & beggars here! And, white trash, for sure. We’re just better about hiding them, I guess.
Comment by Jennifer
April 21, 2007 @
Oh dear…I’m married to one of those redneck truck drivers! But he’s smart, I promise! He does have a jacked up tooth now, though. But that was totally an accident involving a wrench, some grease and a porcelain-crowned front tooth that was just a bit too close….
Okay. Yeah. He’s a “whoa-doggie” type. Just without the overalls.
Comment by Jennifer
April 21, 2007 @
Hmmm…I guess to see the redneckness that is my other half, you’d have to see him up close. But even then, he resembles Napoleon Dynamite more than a trucker. LOL! I’d love to see the sex-ay cover of your trucker magazine!
Comment by spark and foam
April 23, 2007 @
“From that point on, Sucker started pursuing her more and more.” I can totally see why. XOXO Violet
Comment by Dixie
April 29, 2007 @
I hate truckers. I shouldn’t say that because I know they’re not all the same, but THEY PEE ANYWHERE. And smell. And almost run me over at least once a day on the way to and/or from work. And one knocked my mirror off of my truck and rear-ended my friend when she was driving through the wheel wash. “I got a long way to go and a short time to get there…”
Comment by M.A.
May 4, 2007 @
Oh yes, baby. I lived in France — both in the north and the south and they have their own little corners of pooboir blanche (man, I’m rusty). I was actually there long enough that I got good at telling where someone was from in France. Of course, now my french is limited to obscene gestures and cuss words, so… merde, alors. (I really really wish you’d framed that cover… maybe you can order a back issue?)
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Comment by awittykitty
April 20, 2007 @
I went to Toronto and it was very clean and attractive. No winos or beggers on the streets, so I can see their truckers having wine and cheese. I really think rednecks with mullets are truly indicative of our country. We did produce “Hee Haw” after all.