yeahimadork.com

Well.

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas, or whatever consumer-driven holiday you celebrate at this time of year.

I enjoyed the hell out of mine, because we didn’t have to spend time with my mother’s hideous family. It seems my two aunts decided (behind my mother’s  back, of course) that they didn’t want to do Christmas Eve at my parents’ house anymore, and that one of them would be hosting it. My mom sent them a nice message that more or less said, “Thanks for the invitation you judgmental twats, but we’ll stay home this year.” And as soon as we decided that it would just be the four of us for Christmas, we were all relieved and stress-free. (And drunk.)

In fact, my mother was so charmed by the family-free, tradition-free Christmas, that we did Christmas Eve dinner at Benihana.

My sister’s best friend was supposed to come with us, but a Pit Bull decided to try and eat her mother’s leg for his own Christmas dinner, so she was understandably detained. (Her mother has to have a skin graft, but she’ll be OK. The dog, I fear, will not.) I wasn’t expecting there to be much of a crowd, but we had to wait nearly two hours for a table, so apparently a lot of people were ditching their family in favor of mai tais and fried rice and onion volcanoes.

I’m tired and my house is a wreck. I’ll write more tomorrow.