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Well, it seems our Britney done went and got herself committed again. Although, this time there was no papparrazzi, no nudity, no standoff, and no crazy eyes.

B-O-R-I-N-G.

What IS alarming, though, is that this scuzzy hanger-on Sam Lufti has so much power over her that he actually convinced her that he should be the only one to make medical decisions for her, and not her family. Now, her parents are not the most gleaming example of parental responsibility, but they’re still her parents, and this Lufti dude seems super shady. (Speaking of this, HBO is making a movie about Doris Duke and her killer butler with Susan Sarandon and Ralph Fiennes [I think it’s Ralph, anyway] - I am totally looking forward to that.)

Did you see she told doctors she was on Adderol and took TEN laxatives a day? Ewwwww.

It reminds me of the Brian Wilson/Eugene Landy story from the 70’s. I bet if you look in Britney’s living room, there’s probably a giant sandbox.

(Britney’s new record is actually really good. If you like dance/pop, you will like it. It’s been in my car ever since I got it, and I can’t turn it off.)
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Can people leave Heath Ledger’s death alone?  I mean, really. He didn’t seem like the sort of actor who sought out that kind of noteriety (the Paris/Lindsay/Britney kind), and I think it’s pretty disgusting what’s happened since he died. I have to tell you, I’m full of snark and bitterness most days, but I don’t know how those photographers and scuzzy entertainment tv show hosts sleep at night. (Incidentally, at the end of The Soup last week, Joel McHale said something along the lines of “In all the time we’ve been doing this show, we’ve never had cause to show Heath Ledger [in a clip acting retarded]. That should tell you something. Look for the dirt someplace else, people.” And I totally agree. He used drugs. Guess what? So do rich, well-dressed housewives all over America. So do your teenage kids. So do some of their teachers. And doctors. And rock stars. And homeless people. And athletes. And people of every other occupation and persuasion. Sensationalizing one actor’s use is not going to make a dent in the hold drugs have over people. Sorry.

I’m also pretty fucking tired of the media calling Heath Ledger at a party (TWO YEARS AGO) talking about smoking pot “shocking”. Uh. What’s shocking about a guy smoking weed or doing coke? The fact that some guy’s doing blow in the background isn’t shocking. It’s Hollywood, people. The only thing that would shock me was if I walked into a Hollywood party and saw that people weren’t doing drugs and/or not pretending they’re straight.

Heath Ledger used drugs. Wow. Next they’re going to tell me John Travolta’s hair isn’t real and Nicholas Cage might have had some work done.

The shock! The horror!!

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I also wanted to talk about Leah Remini’s nutso pyramid schemescientology letter and having to listen to people fucking drool all over Mitt fucking Romney today ALL DAY, but I’m out of time.

Seacrest, out!