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A few weeks ago, my sister asked me to knit her a certain type of hat. So I went out and bought yarn in a color I knew she would like, and immediately made it. I was going to save it and give it to her with her birthday gift (her birthday is today), but I was excited to give it to her, and decided to give it to her early.

I used to go out to dinner with my family every Friday night, but when I realized she was going to act like a douchebag every single week, I decided it wasn’t worth the free meal and quit going. But I went to may parents’ house last Friday to give her the knit hat. I showed the hat to my mom, and she flipped out and told me how nice it was, and how nice I was for making it. (To be honest, the hat’s nothing special, but people who don’t knit think it’s incredibly difficult to make - and for most knitters who aren’t me, they’re not, but I’m exceptionally destined for mistakes, so sometimes even simple things are difficult. This however, was not. I’m totally rambling.)

My sister came home from work - and guess what - she was pissed about something. She came in with her laptop, flopped down in my dad’s recliner, and pretended we weren’t sitting in the same room five feet away from her. My mom said, “Look what your sister made for you!” and handed her the hat.

She grabbed it, looked at it, and in a voice that I can only compare to the enthusiasm a woman feels when she’s having a pap smear said, “Oh. Thanks.” And then put it down next to her and went back to pretending we didn’t exist. I will never make anything for her again.

Have I said I don’t like my sister very much these days? I don’t. She has turned into this bitter, mean person who’s constantly in a foul mood, and when she’s pissed about something (which is ALWAYS) she doesn’t have the part of the brain that tells you to turn off the hatred when dealing with people that haven’t tried to gouge your eyes out with toothpicks. (This is why she has few friends, and cycles through them pretty regularly. Similar to another psycho bitch I know - Celestia.)

I’m not looking forward to going out to dinner with her for her birthday. Especially since her mood thing on myspace is “sad” and says she “is hoping that her birthday will cheer her up.” Great.

This should be so much fun.

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I’m going to start twittering. It’s highly addictive, especially since I got my Blackberry. It’s good for the little random things that happen that I never can remember to write down for my next update. You should twitter, too! It’s fun!

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Remember how I wrote about my boss knocking up his wife? I forgot one part of the story. As soon as he announced the wife was pregnant, the very FIRST thing that psycho walking-eating-disorder Celestia said was, “A woman only needs 300 extra calories a day when she’s pregnant! That’s all!! Women use pregnancy as an excuse to over-eat!!” Everyone just kind of sat there for a minute and didn’t really say anything.

That particular boss and I were sitting in the kitchen having lunch today, and I asked him about how the pregnancy was going, and he started telling me that he was freaking out a little.

“Freaking out about what?”

“About what kind of kid it will be. What if he’s short, like me and [the wife]? I remember how kids made fun of me.”

“Uh, sir?” I always call him sir facetiously, and he lets me. It’s why I like him. “It doesn’t matter if he’s short. Or tall. Or fat. Or thin. Kids are assholes. They will always find reasons to make fun of other kids. It just doesn’t matter. Sorry.”

“That’s true. But then I wonder… what if all the fingers and toes aren’t there? What if the kid’s just stupid?”

“Do we live in a third-world country? Birth defects are pretty rare. It’s not like your baby’s going to be born like that one in India that had two faces.”

“THERE WAS A BABY BORN WITH TWO FACES?! I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT OF THAT.”