Comments on: It’s hard faking a smile when I feel like I’m falling apart inside.

By: Nightmare

Nightmare — Fri, 09 May 2008 14:12:14 +0000

I had to play catch up so I am late to the party…Your Sister is a douche.

Sorry I call’em like I see’em and if her kids education isn’t important to her, make her read all about Andy Katzenmoyer. He was a linebacker from Ohio State, and took classes like theory of weight lifting and underwater pebble stacking 4. His parents said the same thing about his education, that he was there to play football, and nothing more…he is pumping gas now, not being able to hack it in the NFL and trying to finish school to be a gym teacher.

By: awittykitty

awittykitty — Thu, 08 May 2008 18:04:55 +0000

Re your friend: Its all about boundaries, Andria. Its not about her son. Its about being taken advantage of. YOUR time is important. Don’t forget that! I had that shit happen when I was giving music lessons to Married Guy’s son. He just thought I was ALWAYS available because it was him and my time was of no importance. I finally started protesting, first by being pouty. That didn’t work. Then by a strongly worded e-mail. He then rather cavalierly said, “Oh just forget about it. You’re being over dramatic. Come over for lessons next Tues.” I wrote back: “I won’t be there Tues. Or ever. Goodbye.” And that was the end of our “friendship” We deserve respect, Andria. We are important. We deserve love. I have that thing too where I think people love other people more. I guess that’s why I’ve been in therapy for 30 years. Can’t really help you with that part. Sending you a hug though. Hang in there kid. Maybe your subconscious is yanking you to move to the East Coast. …just saying.

By: scotvalkyrie

scotvalkyrie — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:10:14 +0000

Wow. One of my biggest pet peeves is when you do a favor for someone, yet that someone wants to totally dictate how you perform said favor. I’d be upset too.

By: Kristen

Kristen — Thu, 08 May 2008 15:35:18 +0000

What warcrygirl said.

Maybe it’s because I’m the daughter of a teacher who took the time to teach me to read WAY before I even started school, but what you’ve told said about Kay’s priorities appalls me. As in, I’m sitting here with my mouth hanging open. Baseball should NOT be more important for a 2nd grader than reading. Ever. In fact, if he’s not getting good grades, he shouldn’t be playing baseball. Or going to Dodgers games. Is that strict?

By: Anne

Anne — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:43:38 +0000

I know I do not comment regularly, but I am reading when you update. I held my thoughts till I had a more coherent paragraph (as well as the hug you needed)…and then DK said it all. You *do* sound ready for a big change. Where you are is not making you happy…here’s to finding a better path for you!

By: nogooddaddy

nogooddaddy — Wed, 07 May 2008 23:46:57 +0000

Yea…considering that Shmuppie decided tonight that she no longer knows how to read, you’re welcome to come to NC. Cakes and alcohol for everyone.

Penis cakes that is.

This conversation is making me feel gay.

By: La

La — Wed, 07 May 2008 22:57:27 +0000

You will always be my favorite hoar

By: DanjerusKurves

DanjerusKurves — Wed, 07 May 2008 18:47:04 +0000

Well, let’s just ask ourselves WWJD? Yes, what WOULD Julia do? I’m not going to insist that what might work for me would work for you too, however, we both know I’m cleverer than something really clever. (1) Have you considered a professional therapist? (2) Have you considered either (a) having a sit-down serious conversation with your parents and telling them how you feel — not in a “you should do this or that” but more of a “this is how I feel” or “this is my perception”. If you decide to do that then let go of your expectations before you begin because you won’t be able to control the outcome or their reaction. It’s possible that nothing would change; it’s possible they might get upset with you; it’s possible that you might feel better just getting it off your chest. If you don’t think you can face talking it out then how about writing a letter? As far as your friend, life changes whether we like it or not. People come in and out of our lives and people that we assume will always be there may just not be. Sometimes you simply need to say “I care about you but right now I need to take a break from you.” Lastly, I have had the feeling for a while now that you are on the brink of being ready for a complete life change. That is scary for anybody, but every day you get to make 1000 choices and if those ones don’t work then the next day you can make a 1000 more. Sorry for the rambling, I’ve been trying to process this coherently all morning but it’s not easy to produce a month’s worth of armchair psychoanalysis in one comment. Just know that you ARE loved and that you will survive life’s changes.

By: Lori

Lori — Wed, 07 May 2008 16:19:57 +0000

I would get read the riot act for every little thing I did wrong, but my sisters could do whatever they goddamn well wanted to with a slap on the wrist. I hated them.
Kay is being an idiot. Her poor kid IS going to suffer for this lack of parenting. He is going to be held back numerous times, and if he just barely passes into the next grade, kids are going to start making fun of him for being “slow”. Too bad. But one thing I’ve learned from business, anything given for free is treated as something free. If people have to pay for it, they respect it more because they realize it’s “worth” something.
((hugs)) Be true to your feelings. Love yourself. This too shall pass.

By: Violet

Violet — Wed, 07 May 2008 16:10:35 +0000

You set a clear boundary with Kay. She is not respecting it. I would say that if your decision to stick to your boundary results in her assertion that you don’t love her son enough, she’s trying to manipulate you to get the result she wants. It seems that you understand your own motives clearly and explained what you want clearly, too. I wish you the best in dealing with this–it sounds stressful.

XOX