yeahimadork.com

I hardly ever edit this blog (as you may have noticed), because I’m lazy and because I’m not a renowned publication that prides itself on being a top source of news reporting. That being said, if you ARE a newspaper claiming to be just that, you probably should have a better proof-reading department.

I’m just saying, Los Angeles Times.

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Dear Eva Longoria,

I realize that the life of a television star must be INCREDIBLY difficult - what with your rocket science-type work, having people dress you, do your hair, do your make-up, and have designers lining up to give you free crap so you’ll be photographed wearing it, making a shitload of money, living in a huge house, going to ridiculous award shows that mean nothing in a gown that cost ten thousand dollars while teachers don’t make enough to support themselves, etc. Really. I understand. But, dear, if you want more privacy, here’s some advice:

-Stop going to the places nine thousand photographers hang out.
-Stop shopping on Robertson.
-Stop having million dollar look-at-me weddings at giant cathedrals in Paris.
-Stop showing up at your basketball star husband’s games in full hair and makeup.
-GO LIVE SOMEPLACE THAT’S NOT LOS ANGELES.

See, Eva. It’s really just that simple. There are plenty of celebrities who have a level of privacy in their lives. Now stop acting like you’re not the giant attention whore that you are.