This is what happens when an elephant tries to fuck a donkey.
This morning, I saw that someone left a comment on my blog. And that made me think, hey, I have a blog! Where I go! And write stuff! About my life! I should update that thing!
So here I am.
Hi, internet!
I have a question. I know that there are people who are fairly apathetic politically, so if you’re one of those people, ignore this question. But could you, as a seriously-minded person with strong political views, be romantically involved with someone whose views diverge from your own? Seriously diverge? Because I don’t think I can, and I’ve recently been told I’m “narrow-minded and intolerant” because I didn’t want to date someone who is a lifetime member of the NRA and thought hunting was cool and that John McCain and Sarah Palin would be good for America.
Now, I don’t think those views make him a bad person (ok, yes I do), I just think they make him someone I don’t want to be (and wouldn’t be) in relationship with. I think that when you feel very strongly one way or another, it says a lot about your character. And that’s not bad, it’s just what I think. I know plenty of people who think very differently than I do (I even like some of them!), and there are people reading this very blog who think very differently than I do. But shouldn’t the person you commit yourself to share the same ideals that you do? Am I out on a limb here?
Here’s the conversation:
Him: Hahahaha.
Me: What?
Him: I just read this comment Sarah Palin made about [something I don’t remember]. It’s awesome. She kicks ass.
Me.: Oh. Um.
Him: What?
Me: Maybe we shouldn’t discuss politics.
Him: Why not?
Me: Because I’m pretty sure I’m going to disagree with everything that comes out of your mouth.
Him: Why are you so sure?
Me: Um, because of that last thing you just said.
Him: You don’t agree with me?
Me: Uh, no.
Him: So, can you be with someone whose political views you disagree with?
Me: Probably not. I mean, I guess it depends on how far leaning they are.
Him: Well, I’ll tell you this: I was raised in a republican household. I’m a lifetime member of the NRA. I believe in the constitution. Especially the 2nd amendment.
Me: Oh…. uh, ok.
Him: What?
Me: Yeah, I’m not really into guns. And to be honest, I don’t understand peoples’ fanatical need to be able to have them, and to be so proud that they own them. I understand it’s their right, but I’m just saying I don’t understand it. I don’t like guns.
Him: Don’t you care about protecting yourself??
Me: Protecting myself from what? I live in Torrance, not south central.
Him: Yeah, well, I’ve had people try to carjack me three times, and I’ve been shot at. I need to defend myself.
Me: See, the difference is, I don’t hang around places where people walk right up and try to shoot me and take my car from me. REPEATEDLY. I’m not trying to fight with you. I just don’t like guns. I’m allowed to not like them.
Him: You’ve never USED ONE.
Me: Do you hunt?
Him: Yes, I have.
Me: And you don’t have a problem with that? You don’t think it’s barbaric to go out and kill an animal in 2008 when food is so readily available?
Him: There was a time when people HAD to hunt.
Me: IT’S 2008!! You don’t shit in a bucket outside the house or get around on a horse anymore, either.
Him: You’re so typical.
Me: Ok, see, this is why I said we shouldn’t discuss politics.
Him: I’m the kind of person that wants to be around people who don’t always agree with me, and who can discuss things intelligently. The thing I don’t understand about fucking liberals is that they’re always preaching tolerance, but they’re more intolerant than anyone.
Me: Yeah. You’re TOTALLY RIGHT.
Him: So, I guess you don’t like me then.
Me: What do you think?
21 Comments »
Comment by Jess
September 11, 2008 @
Holy shit! Was that conversation with your boyfriend?! I sincerely hope not!
I’m with you. I’m pretty radical left-leaning (if you hadn’t noticed already, heh)…and people are flabbergasted when I tell them that I would leave Paulo in a heartbeat if he voted McCain. Of course, I don’t think I would have let our relationship progress to the stage it’s at if he was a Republican with such diverging views from my own.
It doesn’t surprise me that the comment about liberals and tolerance came from a Republican. Republicans are the biggest hypocrites when it suits them. Disgusting.
Comment by Violet
September 11, 2008 @
Well… it seems to work for James Carville and Mary Matalin, but I think it would be a lot of work. It’s important that you respect one another’s values (which also means that he would have to respect yours, natch). (Ha, I just wrote “natch.”) It’s a tough sell. I don’t know if “tolerance” necessarily extends to something like shooting wolves from a plane.
Comment by warcrygirl
September 11, 2008 @
Well I pretty much disagree with everything you just blogged and I’d buy you lunch in a heartbeat. I married a Democrat but fortunately he’s apathetic and never votes so I’m okay with it.
Comment by DanjerusKurves
September 11, 2008 @
Since Violet stole my comment, I’ll just ask why do you have such a problem with arming bears? *headtilt*
Comment by cardiogirl
September 12, 2008 @
Oh that Violet beat me to the punch.
I don’t understand how that would work and sometimes I think Mary Matalin keeps James Carville in a crate at home like a rare, albino, exotic animal.
And then she trims his nails and takes him out in public once in a while. That’s why he snarls so much, I think.
Comment by Kristen
September 12, 2008 @
Ha, Violet just wrote “natch”.
And that guy is such a typical Republican.
Comment by Stephanie
September 12, 2008 @
If this guy had clever comebacks to what you said, maybe. But if these are his actual responses then he’s an idiot who can’t defend his position. The only thing worse than Republicans are pseudo-intellectuals.
Comment by nogoodadddy
September 12, 2008 @
“IT’S 2008!! You don’t shit in a bucket outside the house or get around on a horse anymore, either”
Fusk! Now I know what I’ve been doing wrong!
Thanks Ardrian. You’ve set me straight.
Comment by Melodie
September 14, 2008 @
Um ya, I married a republican and all I can say is “they really like to argue.” A lot. All the time. About everything. He feels the need to hunt and have a gun, I feel the need to shop and ride my bike. Then he wonders why I don’t want to shoot a gun, or go buy bullets (sorry, ammunnition) or shoot skeet or whatever. I think that when I’m ready to chew tobacco and shit in a bucket outside the house - that’s when I’ll be ready to handle a gun. I just don’t have the need or desire. God help us if Sarah Palin and McCain get into office. Shudder!! I just physically shuddered at the thought!
Love that you have come back to the blog. I have missed you. 
Comment by Nightmare
September 15, 2008 @
Well I disagree with everything that you wrote, but I am more concerned about the boys response to your questions. 99% of the hunters out there are not the people you hear about in the news. The part I find the most funny is when a democrat moves to the beautiful woods or mountains and gets attacked by a mountain lion or a bear or even has their garbage ransacked by raccoons…they don’t understand why all these crazy animals are harshing their vibe….well basically it is because you chose to move into the animals house and are stepping on their toes.
I hunt because you can’t find venison at Ralph’s, you can’t find ring necked pheasant there either. The meat tastes better then store bought and there is such a thing conservation. Regulated hunting cuts back on the number of accidents and deaths due to animal vs vehicle encounters. You may not see a lot of deer in Torrence CA, but I can tell you from personal experience that deer cannot read street signs and they don’t know that highways and roads are for people and not just a REALLY smooth playground.
Next time you’re in the Midwest call me and I’ll let you taste the difference. No guns, no politics, no crazy right wing religious nonsense, just good food and if your lucky My gay brother may have a “brunch” (’you know how the homosexuals like brunch!’ his words not mine)And you can see that not all republican hunters are the gun toting illiterates that the stereotypes have been blasted about the TV box lately.
Comment by Casey
September 15, 2008 @
Life is too short and can be too hard to spend it with people who don’t share your fundamental views. Child rearing, religion, politics - why argue? Why get involved with something that will cause arguments? It isn’t about closing yourself off or boxing yourself in. It’s about mitigating the stressors in a relationship. If you’re a pig farmer, why marry a vegetarian? When you KNOW it’s going to cause problems later? Life and love are hard enough. I say don’t create issues for yourself.
Comment by GoingLoopy
September 15, 2008 @
I’ve been with people who did not share my political views, and it can work. However, you have to BOTH make an effort to honestly listen and respect one another’s opinions.
However, it helps if the person who does not share your views is intelligent and able to intelligently argue their point, rather than resorting to sweeping “you’re an idiot” generalizations.
Comment by divacowgirl
September 15, 2008 @
The husband and I are complete opposites when it comes to political views. However, because we respect that we each have the right to an opinion, it works. After seven years we agree a lot more now than we used to.
Comment by Marcia
September 18, 2008 @
I never got the hunting thing, either. I couldn’t figure out what where the challenge is in mowing down animals in their own homes, usually when they are only trying to get laid one more time before winter. To me, a fair match would be for the hunter to chase and catch the deer, and they’d rassle to the death. Now, that would sporting.
Comment by Dana
September 20, 2008 @
I’ve dated people who had totally different fundamental beliefs from me…but that’s why I didn’t marry them. Mark and I have the same basic beliefs (or lack thereof). We are both pretty left-leaning. I think he’s even more left leaning than I am. Is that guy from South Georgia? I think he sounds like about every single one of my male students…or the dads.
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Comment by awittykitty
September 11, 2008 @
Ya know Andria, I couldn’t agree with you more. We should have coffee or something. One time I did a personal ad and actually said “No NRA neanderthals. I hate guns. No exceptions.” Yes, it was actually worded that harshly. And what do you think???????? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK??? The one and only guy I dated from the ad was very friendly and nice. Nice chats on the phone, etc. But he finally admitted he was a lifetime member of the NRA and liked deer hunting and went every Fall. I almost screamed! Literally! Sure, you can have differences with people you date, but guns and Republicans are definitely OFF MY list. Stand your ground, Sistah!