Lord, hear our prayer.
I’m not a baby person. I’ve said before that I’m not one of those people that get all retarded when they see a baby. But I’ll be goddamned if I don’t flip out every time I see that little Spud. I love this kid so much, that I totally steal him from his mother the minute they walk in the door. I think it’s because he doesn’t cry, and he’s not a fussy baby. He pretty much just sits there and looks around. Unless of course, he’s facing me. Then he wraps my hair around his hand, gets a huge smile on his face, starts jumping up and down, and then RIPS IT OUT. If I didn’t find it so amusing how giddy he gets when he knows he’s inflicting pain on me, I might get upset about it.I love him.
My complete and utter disgust with feet is pretty well documented, and I even think this is precious:
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Saturday was RAM’s first communion. This of course, is a big deal to those wacky Catholics, so that meant another fun-filled day of sitting, standing, kneeling, and trying to remember which response goes with what prayer. Unfortunately, there was no picture-taking allowed in the church, otherwise this post would be full of pictures of tackily dressed (racism alert!) Mexican women. Man, those chicks know how to jazz it up for the special occasions. I felt so under-dressed, because my shoes weren’t patent-leather and brightly colored.
(If you’re Mexican, and you’re going to tell me what a great dresser you are, save it. Do I really have to keep doing these disclaimers?)
It also was a chance for me to hang out with Kay’s dad, who I don’t see very much. We have great conversations like this:
Andria: Hey, Wayne. Look at you, all dressed up. You clean up nice!
Wayne: Oh, thanks.
Andria: Yeah, normally you look like shit.
Wayne: Have you put on weight?
Later in the day, after church, we were talking, and I pointed out to Wayne that Kay’s mom, Kay’s ex-stepmom, and his current LESBOgirlfriend were all in attendance.
Andria: Wayne, do you realize your penis has been inside three women at this party?
Wayne: What???
Andria: You’ve penetrated three women in this backyard. WITH YOUR PENIS.
Wayne: You’re a filthy girl, you know that?
Andria: Wait - that’s not a good thing?!
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Celestia’s on her honeymoon, which means she’ll be out of the office all week.
Thank you, jebus.
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