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Somehow, in spite of my best efforts, I let Kay talk me into going to see Twilight with her tonight. (Jess, don’t read this part.)

I didn’t even know what the fuck Twilight was until they started shooting the movie and the stills were in my gossip blogs. I didn’t want to read the book, but I was so stunned that Kay found a book and actually read the whole thing that I figured I had to read it. And, well, I didn’t really like it that much. It was just OK - I didn’t hate it, but it’s what it is - young adult fiction. And I’m not a young adult anymore. I’m an adult adult, and I don’t really want to read about people having intense chaste relationships. BORING. Sorry, but my mind only works one way, and I like a little smut in my vampire romance.

Anyway.

This morning, as I was running out the door to work, my cell phone rang. I saw that it was Kay, so I answered, and all I heard was, “WOO OMG WOO SCREAM SCREAM WOO TWILIGHT SCREAM WOO WOO SCREAM OMG WOO!!1!!!1!” Kay and I have seen Depeche Mode in concert a dozen times together, and even saw Dave Gahan standing at a bar twenty feet away from us, and she did not react this way. I am not sure what this is all about, but my theory is that this book is girl porn to unsatisfied and horny housewives everywhere. (Don’t get me wrong - I am totally unsatisfied and horny, but I can’t get turned on by a guy with cold gray skin and a girl with no personality not touching each other.)

Every single review I’ve seen of this movie is bad, and from all indications, the movie is comically bad. So, at least I have that to look forward to.

Although, I may get stampeded by an angry she-mob for daring to mock their movie.

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Yesterday, I went to Trader Joe’s after work. There was a couple near the peanut butter (Trader Joe’s has the best pumpkin butter, OMG YOU GUYS). Here’s the stupidest and most frightening exchange I’ve heard in a while:

Him: This peanut butter, babe?
Her: No, don’t get the chunky kind. You know I’m allergic to nuts.