yeahimadork.com

So, yeah. There was an earthquake here today. I do not like earthquakes, and I did not enjoy it.

After the shaking and rolling stopped, everyone was hanging around by my desk, including our favorite retard Celestia. My co-worker Old Andria made a comment that she could tell how bad it was by how big my eyes got. I almost had a panic attack (did I mention I don’t like earthquakes?), and was visibly freaked out by what had just happened. Dumbass chimed in and said, “Oh, that’s just part of living in California, get over it.”

OH NO SHE DI’INT.

This is the same bitch that was crying (AT WORK) because a better version of her fucking cell phone came out and she couldn’t get one, but she’s telling me to calm down BECACUSE THE EARTH WAS SHAKING.

So I said, “Well, I guess it’s a good thing you don’t have all those gall stones anymore. All that rumbling might have been really uncomfortable. You know. That were in your gall bladder. THAT’S CONNECTED TO YOUR COLON.” She had no idea what I meant.

CFO boss came back from lunch at the sushi place across the street from my office. He said, “I sat there looking at all the glass on our building, and my first thought was, ‘man, I am glad I’m not in that building right now.’ Pretty scary looking.”

“Really? My first thought was, ‘Is that pee running down my leg?’”

He laughed, then shook his head and said, “Andria, I think the part of your brain that tells you what you’re going to say before you say it isn’t working properly.”

“[CFO Boss], I’ve worked here for eight years. I can’t believe you’re just now discovering that. Sometimes I think you don’t know me at all.”