yeahimadork.com

Well, gosh.

Color me stunned. The lovely Melodie sent me a link that informed me that (brace yourselves - it’s hard, I know) Renee “Please take the lemon out of my mouth and feed me a Double Double with cheese” Zellweger and Kenny “I’m the Jimmy Buffet of country music” Chesney are calling it quits and having their marriage of four months anulled.After four long months, they just can’t be together anymore. I hope everyone gives them credit for really sticking it out and trying their best to make it work. Awwww. If those two crazy kids couldn’t make it work, who can??? I’m distraught.
Britney married that hick she grew up with for two days.

Carmen Electra married Dennis Rodman for nine days.

Nikki Hilton married some guy in Vegas for less than sixty days.

Hmmmm.

And the Jesus freaks say that letting the gay people get married would be a mockery of the sanctity of marriage.

I could see how they would feel that way.

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I am always clicking around looking for new and interesting diaries to read, and I must admit to an alarming amount of illiteracy in Diaryland.  

Don’t get me wrong - I am far from perfect, and I never do make the occasional typo. What gets me is the intentional misspelling of words, and the lack of spellchecking before posting.

In fact, the word “hoar” that gets thrown around by myself and a few of my readers jokingly after some nitwit sent me an email and meant to call me a whore. But the “prolly,” “hafta,” and “figger” make me want to gouge my own eyes out. I mean, is it really that hard to just spell “figure”? It’s the same number of letters, for fuck’s sake.

Basic third grade comprehension of the English language and grammar is not that difficult.

Well… unless third grade was SO long ago that you don’t even remember.

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So, my girl DanjerusKurves found me a new boyfriend! I am so happy. I can’t wait for us to meet and fall in love.I know, you’re all jealous. You should be. Between that guy and my other boyfriend Lisa, I don’t know which one’s the bigger stud.  

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Today I was talking to some co-workers about Britney Spears having her baby. Which, by the way, makes me ill that she had a planned cesarean because she didn’t want to deal with the pain of childbirth. Selfish spoiled bitch. Whatever.  

Anyway, after a couple of the women left, one pointed out that she was going to have a cesarean because she didn’t want to be “loose down there” after having a baby. Which made me laugh, because the 250+ guys she slept with might have a little to do with it. I’m just guessing.

She’s pushing 50, never married, and is not shy about admitting to me that’s she’s slept with a buttload (literally!) of men.

Sure, I joke about sex in this diary all the time, but I wouldn’t admit to being such a giant skank to some stranger that I work with. Well, truth be told, I wouldn’t sleep with 250 guys to begin with. But I surely wouldn’t tell any numbers to some person I hardly know at work.

Stupid hoar.

 

 

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