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Last night I had another dream about a bunch of people I don’t really know.

If you’ll recall, longtime reader(s), I had a dream I was in high school with a bunch of diaryland people.

Last night, I had another bizarro dream featuring some of those people, and a few more.

I was in some restaurant, or club, or something like that, talking to Wen. And since you’re all dying to know, I was, of course, talking to her about knitting. I was asking her all these stupid questions about needles and yarn. At some point, she must have gotten fed up with me, because she left that place and went to another club/restaurant/whatever next door.

I went inside the club/restaurant/whatever next door, and noticed that it was full of women. A lot of them were short-haired, make-up-less, butch-y looking women. I looked over and noticed Wen was talking very closely with one such woman, and she was holding a kid. I realized that Wen was indeed, a lesbo (I wonder why she was gay in my dream?), and that this was her girlfriend and their kid.
So we’re talking, and laughing, and then Wen tells me that she’s going to Australia to visit Judd and his Mrs. Hole. (that name is so awesome and yet so gross). I said that sounded nice, and she told me that I could go with her.

Now, given my very public, and very strong fear of flying, I would have thought that the endless flight to Australia would have featured more prominently in this dream, but it did not, because the next thing I knew I was at the Holes’ house, but Wen wasn’t with me, and I flew all the way there by myself.

There was a lot of commotion going on in the Hole house. There were about four dogs, numerous cats, and (I’m not kidding) about TEN CHILDREN. Judd kept trying to get me drunk on Australian beer, but I kept telling him that I really can’t drink beer. He kept insisting that Australian beer was magical beer, and would not make me full and sick like drinking a lot of beer normally does. So, being a victim of peer pressure yet again, I started drinking the magical Australian beer.

In the midst of the Magical Australian Beerfest, I noticed that one of my former co-workers was sitting on their couch. There was a woman who kept asking her to stay, but she kept insisting that she had to get back home to LA, because she said Wen would have her ass if she missed a day of work. I found this comment very strange, since Wen’s work and this girl’s work are in no way similar (unless hair & make-up and data entry are the same and no one told me).

Then I was gone from Judd’s house (which bummed me out, because they had an awesome bulldog that I want) and looking for a phone to call United Airlines, so I could get on a plane to go back home. I was wandering around, alone, and freaked out to be in a strange place that I didn’t know (though, to be fair, that could be anywhere outside the ten mile radius of my home). I found this gas station, and saw a bunch of teenagers sitting around a table. One of them asked me if I was lost, and I remember thinking, Thank god, they speak English!!, which was odd, because I don’t know what I expected them to speak.

Then I was back home, and the former co-worker was asking me if I knew anyone interested, and that Wen was “looking for new girls”. I wasn’t sure what she meant, so I asked her. She said, “You know - working girls.” So not only was she a lesbian, but she was also some sort of madame (the new Heidi Fleiss! With better teeth! And less drug-addicted abusive boyfriends! [sorry Tom Sizemore]).

It was upon this realization that my stupid alarm went off, and my dream was over. I was pissed, because with all the wacky shit that happened up to that point, there was no telling what was coming next.