VD Blues.
I was sleeping this morning, very warmly bundled up in my bed when I heard the voices of my insane neighbors (the one who used to be a hot mailman and his nutso girlfriend who answers the door with no pants on, and doesn’t seem to care about showing her heynannynanny to the whole world) talking next door.   These two are lunatics. They are up and banging around their house at all hours of the day and night. They are loud. They fight. Loudly. And sometimes in public.
So you can imagine how pleased I was when I heard this fantastic exchange at six o’clock in the fucking morning waking me up an hour early.    Her: Isis! Isy! Where’s mommy’s girl? Come to mommy!
Him: She’s probably under the house.
Her: Well get her out!
Him: I’m not going in there. You go in there.
Her: Go get her! I have to leave! I can’t leave her outside!
Him: I’m not crawling under the fucking house. If you didn’t let her out, this wouldn’t be happening.
Her: Why do you do this? Don’t you care that she’ll be HIT BY A CAR IF WE LEAVE HER OUT?!? DO YOU WANT HER TO DIE????
Him: She’s not going to get hit by a car. Just go inside. She’ll come in when she wants to.
Her: I can’t leave her!! Isis, come to mommy!!
A few minutes go by with no voices. Hallelujah, I can enjoy the last thirty minutes before I have to get out of my warm bed.
WRONG.
Her: Isy, WET FOOD! WET FOOD! Mommy has wet food, Isis. Come and get it!!
Him: She’s not coming out. I’m going inside. It’s cold.
Her: What’s wrong with you? You always do this! Why can’t you ever support me?!
Him: What’s wrong with YOU? You’re crazy about this stupid cat!
Her: How can you say that about her???
At that point, I got up and got in the shower, and turned my stereo way up so I couldn’t hear them.
When I walked by their apartment to get to my car, they were still fighting.
No wonder the cat tried to escape.
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Well, kids, it’s Valentine’s Day. And while my heart is filled with love and happiness, my bed, sadly, is not. I’m bummed to be spending another holiday on a separate coast from the one I love, but that’s life at the moment. So I am not celebrating Valentine’s Day until next month, when Scott comes to visit.
He did send me these, though:
Everyone who walks by says something about them. Want to guess who the ONLY person not to say a word about them was?? She hasn’t gone into the bathroom to cry like she did last year, but I’m hoping for some sort of volcanic reaction.
She’s been acting like a major bitch the last couple of days, so I’m kind of enjoying how bitter she is right now. I keep praying that she’ll get knocked up and quit, or maybe she’ll just disappear altogether, but that doesn’t seem to be happening.
But enough about her. We mustn’t dwell. No, not today. We can’t. Not on Rex Manning Day! (That’s for you.)
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