yeahimadork.com

My friend DB found my blog. He’s a computer guy, and I was asking him a question about the template for my knitting blog, and I sent him the link, not realizing I linked to Pete, and he clicked the link and found me in about five seconds. He’s probably the only person I’ve never bitched about here, and he’s probably the only one who would actually respect my privacy and keep his nose out of it.

If not, hi, asshole DB!

I’ve been fighting with my crackpot neighbor Anne (the one who named her cat Anne). A few weeks ago, I was watching Babel, when I heard three pounding sounds on the wall. Since bizarre sounds come from both of my neighbors’ apartments all the time, I didn’t think too much of it.

A few days later, my dad told me that when he went to collect her rent, she asked him to soundproof the wall, because my television was so loud. He knows she’s crazy, and told me that since she’s lived there, she’s bitched about everything and everyone in the apartments - with the exception of the naked weirdo who lived in my apartment before me. She LOVED Naked Guy. I suspect it’s because that was the only chance she ever got to see a naked man, because she looks like a troll and has entire conversations with plants.

The next Sunday, it rained the whole night until about ten the next morning. At eleven, Anne was outside watering her ugly, half-dead, burnt plants.

After it rained FOR FOURTEEN HOURS.

I couldn’t take it. “What are you doing???”

“I’m watering my plants.”

“But it just finished raining. It rained ALL NIGHT.”

“I need to water my plants.”

“You’re wasting water!!!!!”

“I need to water my plants.”

UGH.

Last week, about five minutes after I got home from my knitting group, I was sitting on my couch and heard the goddamned banging again.

MY TV WASN’T EVEN ON.

This bitch has no idea who she’s up against. I told Scott when he gets here, we’re having lots of crazy porn star sex in my living room, and then she’ll really have something to listen to.