Reason # 9837489743 that I hate people.
I’m back home from Virginia, which blows. God damn, I wish Virginia was like, right next to Torrance (the city I live in), because I like it there, and it would make my life SO. MUCH. EASIER. And then I could have morning sex all the time, without having to travel 3000 godforsaken miles to get it.
My flight there was interesting. And when I say “interesting”, I mean equal parts scary and incredibly annoying. It wasn’t scary for anyone else, because while I was silently crying inside while the plane seemed to bounce around in the sky, nobody else seemed to notice. And I decided that if the flight attendants were still serving drinks while all the commotion was going on, I probably should go ahead and calm the fuck down. (I took my usual xanax before I got on the plane, but I still had some panic at the beginning. Stupid anxiety.)
When I chose my seats, for some stupid reason, I chose an aisle seat on the flight there. Mostly because I pee a lot in the morning, and figured it would be easier on the people in my row if I was on the outside, and could just get up and go without disrupting two other people. The only thing I didn’t count on was the two skanks next to me had weaker bladders than I did, because those whores peed about half a dozen times. On a four and a half hour flight. What the hell? So I had to get up a million times. And my shoulder got hit EVERY SINGLE TIME another passenger walked down the aisle. IT WAS SO AWESOME.
There was a woman a couple of rows behind me with a toddler of maybe two or three. About mid-way through the flight, the kid started screaming. The parents were doing everything they could to calm this kid down. They gave him toys, and cookies, and let him walk up and down the aisle - they really tried. They begged the child to stop crying. There was nothing they could do short of beating him, and I felt bad for them. You know why? Because some fucking turd in the front of the plane walked right up to them and said, “Do you think you could quiet your kid down? I’m trying to relax!” Then the guy in the seat directly in front of mine turned around to stare at them, to give them The Stare Of Shame For Daring To Have A Child That Was Not Perfect And Then Taking That Child In Public.
I looked at him, and I said, “Do you think they’re enjoying that their kid has been screaming for the last hour, and having everyone stare at them? Do you think they love that every single person on this plane knows that THEIR KID is the one causing a commotion? ‘Cause I’m guessing probably not.” He looked at me, and was just about to say something I would assume was going to be rude and insulting, but the flight attendant came and asked him to turn around, and to “please understand” about the crying. Ass.
Don’t get me wrong - I didn’t love hearing a kid scream, but thanks to a) the earbuds I was using to watch TV, and b) years working in daycare teaching me to tune ANY noise out, I wasn’t really bothered by it. I just couldn’t believe how blatantly rude people were being to the parents, as if they could just mute the kid if they wanted to.
People are so stupid.
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