yeahimadork.com

The point of my last post wasn’t to bash republicans. Really, it was meant to bash a certain type of republican - the greedy, gun-toting, war-hungry jesus-freak that thinks letting two gay people marry each other will ruin “the sanctity of marriage.” (Republicans: please see current hetero divorce statistics.)

The fact is, I think a true republican would be disgraced by the state of his/her party, and what the Cheney/Rove Bush Administration and the rest of the neocons have done to diminish it.

The point of my last post was to say that I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone who was so completely different from me. There were a lot of things about this guy that turned me off, but the hunting thing is what really got me. I’m a freak about animals, and the idea of someone going out and killing an animal for sport, so that they can stuff it and mount it on their wall makes my skin crawl. So, a second date with a guy like that was NOT going to happen. Because aside from that, he was also homophobic, and I’m sure most of you know I have no tolerance for that.

As you can see, my plunge back into the dating pool has not been a very fruitful one. Besides NRA Boy, there were two others that made me want to never consider going on another date again.

BUT.

I have met a man. It’s all very early, and I probably shouldn’t even write about it yet, but I’m going to anyway. I definitely find him physically attractive, but his brain is what really gets me all hot and bothered, because OH MY GOD HE IS SMART. He is so smart, in fact, that I find myself somewhat intimidated (and wildly aroused) by it. While I do consider myself a fairly smart girl, I am not Georgetown University law school smart. (My naughty bits tingled just writing that.) He’s taking me on a date this week (we had lunch yesterday, but I don’t really consider it a date), and I am excited about it. I probably shouldn’t be, because it will only make the let-down that much worse if this crashes and burns like the others did, but I don’t know - this time I’m optimistic. Perhaps foolishly. We’ll see.

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Celestia’s crazy obsessive “health” kicks continue to amuse and confound us here at work. She’s doing her miraculous gall-stone extraction-via-colon again, as well as some liver cleanse. I’m not sure why she sees a chiropractor for these various fasts/cleanses, but he’s the one telling her all this crazy shit is going to make her better. (Sorry, only massive doses of psychotropic drugs is going to do that.)

She ran up to my desk the other day with her phone to show me a picture. Of one of the gall stones. That she pooped out.

Um.

I know that I have written many, MANY things here that show just how batshit crazy this girl truly is, but I think showing me a picture of something that she fished out of the toilet after it shot out of her ass is the wingnuttiest thing that bitch has done so far.

I wasn’t sure what to say when I saw it, except, “I really wish you would have told me you were going to show me a picture of something that you shit out this morning.”

Her response? “I thought you would want to see it.”

My life is great.